


The Plan

by BabyLinda4



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 13:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30106515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyLinda4/pseuds/BabyLinda4
Summary: It's odd hearing Steve talk about a plan. Years of following Steve into increasingly dangerous situations and not once did that man have a plan. Steve always figures everything out in the moment. He never knew more than his next two steps. Bucky learned to just go with it, protect Steve as best he can and trust that they’ll get there in the end. Except Bucky can’t follow him this time.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	The Plan

Bucky stands watching Bruce repeat the plan to Steve from across the time portal platform. 

It's odd hearing Steve talk about a plan. Years of following Steve into increasingly dangerous situations and not once did that man have a plan. Steve always figures everything out in the moment. He never knew more than his next two steps. Bucky learned to just go with it, protect Steve as best he can and trust that they’ll get there in the end. Except Bucky can’t follow him this time. 

How can he trust that things will work out the way he wants when this feels like the end already?

Bucky’s eyes follow Steve as he and Sam begin walking towards him. He’s too afraid to blink and miss him. It's pointless really. He memorized every part of Steve years ago. And no matter how long he looks now, he’ll still miss him as if he never looked at all.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” The familiar phrase breaks Bucky's heart that much more. 

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” Bucky tries to smile but the retort comes out hollow. Steve has always been the smartest decision he's ever made.

They both step forward for a hug that is at least 75 years too short. The ache it leaves behind is worse than anything Bucky has ever felt. Worse than falling off that damn train. Worse than having his arm ripped from his body. Worse than watching people die at his hands with no power to stop it. No, those pains were white hot and blinding. They were easy to identify, easy to point and say, “here! This is where it hurts!” That made it easy to fix. This ache is dull, yet constant. He can feel it everywhere, deep down in his bones, in his hands, his legs, his chest. Even though he can feel it everywhere it still feels just out of reach. Like the ache isn't his own. 

It's fine though. Bucky wouldn't want to get rid of it anyways. The ache is the only reminder that Steve was once here. Once his. Even if only as his best friend.

“I'm gonna miss you buddy.” It’s not enough. It’s just an easy replacement for everything he really wants to say.

“It's gonna be okay, Buck.” He smiles as if he isn’t completely destroying Bucky’s world by doing this. _Good_ , Bucky thinks. He wouldn’t want Steve to know he's hurting him. He deserves to be happy.

Steve gives him a look Bucky doesn't understand before nodding slightly and turning to step onto the platform.

"Ready Capt?" Bruce calls from behind the control panel.

Bucky watches him, wishing he could say all the things on the tip of his tongue. Instead he swallows them down with a brave face.

"It's what's best for him." He whispers to himself, quiet enough that Sam can't hear it. He tries to memorize the look on his friend's face. There's a blinding flash of light, making him look away, and when he looks back he's gone.

Bucky stares at the empty platform for a long moment. 

Bruce and Sam are frantically trying to figure out what went wrong when Bucky lets out a deep sigh and turns to walk away.

Sam looks at him confused. "Where are you going?"

Bucky’s step falters but never stops. He just shrugs and continues on.

After Bucky is a few yards away from the platform he feels a shiver, a shift in energy, which is usually a warning for an impending attack. There's no more fight left in him though, so he just brushes it off.

"Wow. Five minutes. That's it? So much for until the end of the line." 

Bucky stops so suddenly he nearly trips. His body goes rigid. He's too afraid to move. Too afraid to see the source of that voice when he turns around. Partly because he's worried he imagined it. Partly because he doesn't want to see the proof of what he's lost. 

Then he feels a strong hand grip his shoulder. Relieved, yet still reluctant Bucky turns to face...Steve. His Steve. The same Steve. The same face he just tried to memorize. But oh how he failed. Memories could never do him justice, even when that was the very thing keeping him alive all those years ago.

"Wh- how? why?"

"We had a plan."

"Yeah, the plan was you stay. This was the end of the line, I thought. That's what we talked about."

"The plan was me finishing this last mission, then finally allowing myself to just live. For myself. With the one I love."

"Exactly. So what happened? What about...her?" Not having it in him to say her name.

Steve looked perplexed, yet his face softened. "Peggy?"

Bucky just nodded with his eye downcast.

Steve put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder again. Bucky knows he’s hoping to get him to look him in the eye, but he can’t look at him. Not while he’s still trying to say goodbye. If he does, he knows he’ll never let him go.

"Buck, Peggy and I had our chance. It was good when we had it but I've already said goodbye to her. I'm not interested in chasing some 'what if' scenario with her. That's not how the world works. She married, had children and lived a good life. That is her future, her story. Who am I to take that away?"

"But...you could. If you wanted. Bruce could-"

"Buck if I didn't know better I'd say you were trying to get rid of me."

Bucky quickly looked up to assure him that wasn't what he was doing at all but the smirk on Steve's face let the words die on his tongue.

Both men were quiet for a moment. Listening to the trees russel in the slight breeze. The birds chirping. It was calming yet oddly jarring compared to the storm going on inside Bucky’s head. Trying to put the pieces together. Then one piece stuck.

"...then the plan we talked about. Being with who you love.." Bucky said slowly.

"Yes.."

"Who then? If not her?"

Steve rolled his eyes and let out a small chuckle. Bucky could tell he probably looked like some innocent doe-eye girl but he couldn't help it. It was fitting anyways, for how vulnerable he felt. 

"After all these years, you still manage to take all the stupid with you, huh?"

Bucky just stared. Not knowing how to respond to that.

"You, Buck. You. It's always been you. Even when I had Peggy I still wished I had you. I still wished I had been good enough. Strong enough to save you. All the fight in me has always been for you. Fighting to impress you. Fighting for you. Fighting to protect you. But all my fight is gone now. I just want you."

Bucky stood there shocked. He's trying to reconstruct all the moments they've had together, but now with the knowledge that Steve feels the same. He knew, even before going to war, that Steve was trying to prove something but he had never imagined it'd be about him. It feels like piecing his memories back together after escaping from Hydra. Except the final pictures spread a kind of warmth over him, like the sun across your face on a cold day. 

Words have left his head. He just wants to feel, wants to chase the sun. Carefully, Bucky raises his hand up to grip onto Steve's jacket, then slowly traces his eyes up Steve's chest to his neck, finally landing on his eyes. 

He pauses there. Not really knowing what he's looking for. A trap? A ruse? Some kind of proof this is all fake? Whatever it is, he doesn't find it. Just the soft blue eyes of his best friend filled with something he can't put a name to, but when he looks into them it's almost like he can hear his mother's voice, singing to him as a child. It's peaceful. And home.

Bucky tugs ever so lightly on Steve's jacket, afraid to break their moment. And maybe still a little afraid Steve will pull back.

But he doesn't. Steve goes easily. Bending forward slightly to capture his lips in a gentle kiss. 

Steve pulls back to look Bucky in the eyes. "I suppose there is one 'what if' scenario I'm interested in. Except I don't have to break the laws of nature, time and space to do so."

"What's that?" Bucky answered, nervous for the answer yet still dazed from the kiss.

"You. Everything we could've been, should've been. I never had a plan when it came to missions. Never needed one. Before I lost you-” He stops abruptly, like the air has been sucked out of him. His hands drift towards Bucky's hands. His eyes dropping to the ground between them.

Steve squeezes Bucky's hands and takes a deep breath before speaking again.

“I did have one plan. I was going to fight, until the bullies were gone. Until I had done enough to honor Dr. Erskine’s gift and sacrifice. Or at least until I thought there was someone else who could fight in my place.” 

“I don’t know, maybe I would’ve just kept fighting until I thought the world was safe enough.” Steve confesses to the grass at their feet, shaking his head.

“Safe enough for what?”

Steve laughs on an exhale, like he can’t believe Bucky just asked that.

“For you, Buck." Lifting his head to meet Bucky's gaze. "How are you not getting this yet? I was going to fight until the world was safe enough for you...for us. Safe enough that we would never have to fight again. And then I’d tell you. I’d finally tell you how I’ve been feeling all these years. That was my plan. The only plan that ever mattered to me.” 

“But then you...fell. And I never wanted to make another plan ever again. I couldn’t.” Bucky hasn't heard Steve sound this sad since his mother passed.

Even when Bucky is still scrambling to process everything his instincts are telling him to protect Steve. So he pulls Steve into a tight hug. He cradles Steve’s head to his shoulder, feeling liquid slide down his neck.

Steve sniffles after a moment. He straightens up but doesn’t pull away. He stares intently into Bucky’s eyes, willing him to believe him.

“When I got you back I thought it was some kind of sick joke. Then I found out it wasn’t. That somehow my plan didn’t fail.”

“Steve, there’s no way you could’ve known there was anything left of me worth saving. After all the things I did.” Bucky desperately wants to believe what Steve is telling him, but even holding him now it doesn’t seem possible.

“But I did! Sure, I never thought you would be one of the bullies I’d have to fight to keep you safe.” That earned him a little chuckle from Bucky. “But I stuck to my plan.”

Bucky got lost in the feeling of finally having Steve in his arms but reality snuck up on him. Bucky takes a step back and instantly feels cold.

“Y’know the world still isn’t exactly safe for people like us. Even now.”

Steve sighs. “I know. I had hoped it would be better by now.”

“It’s not too late. You could still go back. Have the easy life you deserve.” Bucky adds sadly.

“I don’t want that life, Buck!” Steve spits back with a fire Bucky wasn’t expecting. He’s gripping Bucky’s arms so hard it almost hurts. “I want you! Only you. No matter what.”

His voice softens. “I realized too late that I didn’t need to rid the world of bullies before I could be with you. That as long as I was with you I could fight them off. One by one. Anyone who dared to threaten you. They’d never stand a chance.” Bucky knew Steve was a fighter, but he never considered him dangerous until right now. He felt sorry for any poor sap who earned a look like this.

The look is instantly replaced by eyes full of sorrow and guilt.

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize this.” His eyes plead with Bucky’s as if there’s any chance Bucky wouldn’t forgive him. “After everything we’ve been through. Everything we’ve seen. I know it doesn’t seem possible.” Steve is shaking his head, new tears welling in his eyes. “But if you just give us a chance I think we could make it.”

Bucky honestly can’t believe Steve doesn’t already know how much he loves him. And he’s too shocked to come up with the right words to tell him. He’s still struggling to find them when Steve speaks again.

“Whoever is looking out for me. Whatever good I've done that somehow let me have you. Always brought you back to me. Over and over again. No matter how painful it might've been. It was worth it for this moment." 

_Forget words!_ Bucky is done with hesitation. He surges forward, eyes set on Steve's mouth. He moves his hand to the back of Steve's neck to pull him closer. He runs his fingers through his hair, thankful for something to hold. He feels so grateful to finally have this moment with the man he's been in love with his entire life.

Their hands roam desperate to touch and to hold everything they have been denying themselves. Steve’s hands slide up Bucky’s arms then into a vice around Bucky’s torso. Bucky knows it's Steve trying to make up for the one time he couldn’t reach him. For once the pain of it all doesn’t take his breath away. At least not in a bad way. 

Bucky lets Steve pull him in. He drags his hands up Steve’s chest, leaning into him more, while raking his fingers through Steve’s hair again. Since the day he met him, he knew he wanted to kiss this kid from Brooklyn who didn’t know how to walk away from a fight. However, practically standing on his tiptoes to kiss him had not been something he anticipated. Bucky smiles into the kiss. That kid is the only person he has ever loved and he finally gets to kiss him.

That same kid pulls away just enough to mutter, "I would, though. Just so you know."

Frustrated with the need to still carry a conversation, yet curious Bucky replies, "would what?"

"Break the laws. Of time and space. For you. Only you." Each line punctuated with a small peck. 

This time Bucky pulls back. "Kinda already saw how that would go, didn't we?"

Steve's hand gently slides down Buck’s arm, his metal arm, and sighs, "yeah, I suppose so."

"’Sokay Steve." He says trying to wipe that sad distant look off his face. "There's so much we have gone through to be here. I think it's pretty clear there isn't anything we wouldn't do for each other."

Steve quirks an eye at that, "So...until the end of the line?"

"And then some." 

The two stand there holding each other swaying softly with the trees. Smiling softly at each other. Until Bucky speaks again.

"Although I may have to reconsider if you don't get back down here and kiss me right this instant."

Steve smiles brighter, wraps his arms tighter around Bucky's waist and pulls him in until there isn't an inch of space between them. And like the good soldier he is, does as he's told, only this time he does it for himself.

"Also would it kill you to include me in on your plans? Would've saved us a lot of necessary heartache." Bucky quips while playfully shoving Steve's shoulder.

"Alright. Let me start now. First I plan on kissing my best friend until I hear Sam start hooting and hollering, because I know him and Bruce have been not-so-subtly watching us this whole time."

Bucky peeks over Steve's shoulder and yep there they are not even pretending to be doing anything other than watching them. Bucky hides his pink cheeks behind Steve's shoulder.

"Second, I plan to announce that I can no longer fulfill my duties as Captain America. Third put a ring on this finger." Steve lifts Bucky's left hand to place a lingering kiss on his knuckles. The action makes Bucky blush even more.

"Lastly grow old with you by my side."

"That's it? Are you sure this new plan doesn't involve jumping out of planes without a parachute?" 

"No, but I'm open to ideas for the wedding ceremony if you would like to include that?" Bucky meant it as a joke but Steve says it with such a straight face that Bucky is suddenly concerned he's serious. Then Steve bites his lip trying to suppress a laugh.

Bucky closes his eyes, "Ohh! You almost had me there!"

"Well my plan was kind of based on the assumption that I already did." Steve answers sweetly.

Bucky can't resist. He guides Steve down to a slow kiss with a hand at the back of his neck. "Who would've thought you'd be so good at making plans?"

**Author's Note:**

> I think I cried the whole time while writing this. These two know the best ways to break my heart.  
> Tell me all the ways they broke your heart in the comments.


End file.
